Monday, 2 August 2010

a dress in waiting

Hello, I hope you haven't forgotten me; I promise I haven't forgotten you! Only I just got a job (after searching for a year!), and have therefore been rather busy... jobbing. And while I used to have fun dressing for work at my last job, this job requires me to wear an oversized t-shirt proclaiming that YOU CAN'T BEAT OUR MEAT, and a baseball cap with a similar motto. (I am also irritated that the cap and shirt do not actually match.) Also trousers. EVERY DAY. My first day of work I came home and rebelliously threw on a favourite dress, but the next day I was too tired to do anything but replace my dreadful work t-shirt (at least it's a pleasing burgundy?) with a prettier one. I have been wearing sensible, faultless, yet awesome stompy boots every day, so that's something. I have also taken to wearing a great deal more eyeliner than I do on a typical day (especially when it isn't autumn; my gothic streak expands ridiculously come the first sign of crisp winds), as it is one of the few ways I can present myself as an ~individual. It isn't about feeling pretty so much as it is about feeling like myself; I need to have talismans of appearance about me. 

Anyway my fashion sense has been sort of flatlined this last week, though I shall soon have ACTUAL PROPER MONEY which is very exciting (first on the list of essential purchases: some books, some underwear, and a replacement for my trusty satchel, which is currently held together by duct tape, safety pins, and hope). 


I bought a lovely dress at Goodwill last week: one of those dresses that you start out laughing at because it's so typical of its era or so outrageous in its quirkiness, and then you realise that you are actually madly in love with it. 

(I swear it isn't just because it very much resembles the dress Veronica Mars wears to the 80's themed dance in season one. I SWEAR. Also I lie.) 

I tried it on, and it looks brilliant, really; it fits me exactly, and as I happened to be wearing black stockings and granny boots at the time I cut a very fine figure. But one of the many, many downsides to living in a dull small town in the middle of nowhere in particular is that I have no idea when I shall get to wear it -- outside of photo shoots and waltzes in front of my bedroom mirror. (Perhaps I should put it on & prowl the graveyard!) I have several formal or at least Very Nice dresses hanging in my closet which I have barely worn because I haven't anywhere to wear them to, so I end up over-dressing to attend plays at the community theatre, or, well... that's really the most elegant-dress event I can think of, really. I want to go to operas and plays and ridiculous costume parties! But instead I hang dresses on the corners of doors and daydream. 

And on the subject of daydreaming, I have been wistfully pretending that the profusion of wildflowers on my desk are from a secret admirer -- or perhaps a not-so-very-secret one -- instead of something friends were selling at the local farmer's market and gave to my mother (and thus, there being far too many to fit in one vase, she in turn gave half of them to me). 

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